One of the wisest and most inspiring women I know, Kathy Caprino, just wrote a post that came screaming off the page at me. It is titled, “Let’s Take the ‘I’m Pleasing Myself’ 30-day challenge”. This incredible woman knows a thing or two about writing and inspiring women. She is strong and insightful. I would never have thought she would fall victim to the pleasing trap. I thought that was my dirty little secret alone. Well, wake up people. We are not going to do it anymore!
I spend close to 100% of my time worry about whether or not I am doing enough for others or thinking about what I can do to increase what I am doing for others or feeling guilty about not doing enough for others. There is a whole article on the psychology of this that I don’t have time to research nor write. So what I am going to do is take on Kathy’s 30-day challenge and follow her steps:
- Focus on yourself exclusively for 10 minutes at the start of the day– Each morning, before you race off pleasing others, ask yourself “What do I need to do to really please myself today?” Sit with that for 10 minutes, and don’t let you mind skirt off to “what do I have to do for my family or my boss?”
- Take control of your obligations and rein them in – Ask yourself, “What deadlines have I self-imposed, that aren’t necessary or important to reach?” For each of these, add some more time and push the deadline out so you don’t kill yourself getting something done for no good reason.
- Reach out and ask for help – Think about the help you need today, and go out and ask for it. Make that call, write that email, call that friend. Do it.
- Take at least THREE 15-minute breaks (besides meals) – Give yourself more time (three breaks at least) to push away from the computer, get up and stretch, relax, talk to your friend, drink a cup of tea, go outside. Let your body relax. Play with your pet. Take the tension off your neck and shoulders and breathe.
- Be with what you’re eating – Don’t wolf your food down in 3 minutes while standing up (boy is that a familiar activity). Sit down, get some water, and “be” with your food as you slowly chew it. My grandmother (“Yaya”) would say – “Horses eat standing up – sit down!” Don’t eat like a horse.
- Say YES to what you love – Wherever you can today, say “NO” to the projects, tasks and activities you hate doing, and “YES!” to more of the work you love. Just say no.
Read the whole post HERE
So who is with me?